Showing posts with label recipes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label recipes. Show all posts

3.24.2014

Lucy's Stoner Kitchen: French Toast Nocturnus



Hey it's that one day a year that I actually cook!
Like hanging out in a field on a warm summer night under a sky full of stars and cosmic dust, this is french toast that will please the night owls.

Makes 2 servings


Ingredients

Toast dip:

- 4 slices fresh multigrain bread
- 4 large white eggs
- 1/2 cup almond milk
- 2 tbsp weed butter (stoner option)
- 1tsp cinnamon
- 1/2 tbsp cocoa powder or crushed raw cacoa
- 1/2 tbsp brown sugar
- 2 tsp psyllium fiber husks
- 1/2 tbsp finely crushed raw almonds

optional: slivered raw almonds to sprinkle on top


Sauce:

- 3/4 cup fresh, washed blackberries
- 1/2 cup fresh, washed blueberries
- 1/3 cup water
- 1/3 cup maple syrup
- 1/3 cup rolled oats
- 2 tbsp raw honey
- 1 tbsp crushed raw almonds
- 2 tsp tbsp flax seed
- 2 tsp brown sugar
- 1 tbsp coconut oil


For toast:


Using a whisk, beat eggs and almond milk together in a medium sized mixing bowl until texture is consistent. Add cinnamon, cocoa, brown sugar, psyllium fiber husks, and crushed almonds and beat until all ingredients are mixed well.
Preheat a large frying pan (should fit two pieces of toast).on medium-low with 1/2 tbsp raw coconut oil (or weed butter, for the stoner option). One at a time, take each piece of bread and press into mixture, coating both sides fully before laying in pan. Fry each side until dark golden brown (approx 4 mins).

For sauce:

Crush blackberries and blueberries together in a bowl until they are lumpy but mixed well and swimming in their own juices. Add the rest of the sauce ingredients (except the coconut oil) and mix well. Heat coconut oil in small saucepan (on low), then pour in berry mixture. Warm for 7-8 minutes on low or until mixture thickens to your liking, stirring occasionally.

Spoon sauce over toast, drizzle on maple syrup to taste and sprinkle on some more crushed raw almonds and/or slivered raw almonds if desired. Add sliced banana stars for fun.

Presto, getting too high and eating the sky never tasted so good (also that flax and fiber'll make ya poop)!



12.24.2013

Lucy's Stoner Kitchen: Santa's Blood cocktail


Happy Holidaze, let's get smammered! I call this concoction "Santa's Blood": tall glass filled halfway with ice, add 1 1/2 shots of good gin (I use Bombay Sapphire),  1/2 shot Goldschlager, fill glass with cranberry soda, a good dash of cream soda, a dash of grenadine. NO lemon slice as pictured (mistake) - add mint leaves for garnish, arrange to look like holly or some bullshit. 

Merry christmas, ya filthy animals.

5.26.2013

Steve Albini's cooking blog




Steve Albini is best known for being an outspoken, opinionated, intense A/V club nerd, who probably didn't get laid much until he turned 30. He was the guitar wizard of the soundtracks to your guttural, coked-up nightmares, Big Black and Shellac.

But he can also teach you how to whip up delightful Saffron Potato Cashew Pancakes for your girlfriend! (pictured)

http://mariobatalivoice.blogspot.ca/




"And then you grasp the lobster with all your might and force it tail-first down into the bubbling abyss of the mirror image of its own death. There you have it: a succulent sacrifice, goes best with warm butter and a nice Sauvignon Blanc. Bon appétit!"

11.23.2009

protein shake, anyone?


Somebody buy me this for Xmas:

http://www.lulu.com/content/4956212

"Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants."

DELICIOUS AND NUTRITIOUS!

9.18.2009

lindsay's renegade "thai" tuna wrap

I wanted to eat Starbucks' Thai Tuna Wrap. I'm pretty sure they don't sell it anymore, and besides, I don't think there's a Starbucks in the nearby vicinity of my apartment now anyway. So I decided to go ahead and make my own strange brew.

What I did:

- First, about half an hour before I went to make lunch, I pre-made a single serving of Uncle Ben's Instant Perfection rice according to box directions and put it in the freezer so it would cool quickly
- Took half a can of tuna, added one tablespoon of light mayo, mixed it together
- Squeezed a 1/4 of a lemon's juice into the tuna mixture
- Sprinkled in a pinch of basil
- Dumped about 1/2 tbsp of Club House roasted red pepper & garlic seasoning spice, mixed it all together.
- Scooped about 1/3 cup of the cooked, chilled rice into the mixture
- Added 1/4 cup of President's Choice Butter Chicken sauce (sooooo gooooood)
- Shredded a couple of spinach leaves and added them to the mixture


Mixed it all together, plopped it onto a tomato & basil 12" wrap, folded it all up and VOILA! An extremely delicious and quick pseudo-thai tuna wrap! And it tasted freaking delicious (and fairly similar to the Starbucks version!).

If I had had the ingredients, I would have added a bit of green onion, some chili flakes, water chestnuts and possibly a little bit of peanut sauce... maybe even some shredded coconut, mmm. So yeah. Put a bunch of that shit in there too.

Fini.

6.13.2009

Lin's TITS GUACAMOLE

make your own TITS GUACAMOLE:

- 2 full, ripe avocadoes
- 1/2 large hot house tomato, chopped into 3/4 cm chunks
- 1 clove of garlic, finely chopped
- 2 tbsps sweet onion, chopped however you like it (I use very fine chunks, 'cause I hate onion!)
- juice of 1/2 a large lime (pull some of the pulp out in wisps and add it as well)
- 1 1/4 tsp salt
- 1/2 tsp black pepper
- 1/2 tsp cilantro

1. Mash the first four ingredients together until mildly chunkayyy, and then dump everything else in and mix it up a bunch more.
2. Eat with something delicious, like black tortilla chips.
3. "This shit is tits!" - Biff Young